“I mean is he still going to be worth $24M/year when he’s 41?” asks deceased South African President.
CAPETOWN, SOUTH AFRICA ?As part of a post-mortem press conference with gathered journalists from around the world, former South African president and global inspiration Nelson Mandela offered his thoughts on a variety of subjects, including the recent blockbuster 10-year, $240M deal signed by perennial All-Star Robinson Cano, formerly of the New York Yankees, with the Seattle Mariners.
“First of all, I think it’s pretty absurd that anyone gets paid that much money to hit a base ball, no matter how hard it is to do,” remarked the man who once spent 27 years in prison before rising to the presidency and uniting a nation plagued by Apartheid and the ghosts of British colonialism.
“Although when I think about how much money the owners are making off of the players’ talent and ability, I guess it sort of makes sense??I don’t know,” he added.
President Mandela then spoke at length about the challenges that face the African continent before returning to the original topic.
“I’m just not sure about Curtis Granderson going to the Amazin’s,” said the Nobel Peace Prize winner who died yesterday. “Is that going to be a good move? Is it just about the money? Would he have stayed on with the Yankees if they hadn’t signed Jacoby Ellsbury?”
At press time, the beloved philanthropist and symbol for hope was seen speaking to aides about the wisdom or folly of conducting the Superbowl in a cold-weather city.
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