“Are you even paying attention? It says what it is right on the [expletive] thing,” said the leader of the free world.
Further angered by the blank look on Congress’s face the President escalated his tirade.
“Maybe if you got off your [expletive] iPhone and focused for like one [expletive] second you could actually accomplish something useful for once,” bellowed the nation’s 44th executive.
“Or maybe you think a 14% approval rating is a good thing?” screamed America’s de facto father figure. “You know when I was your age I had a friend with 14% scores and now he’s unemployed and smokes skunk weed he got for giving handjobs behind a 7-11 back in Hyde Park. Is that what you want?”
“I said IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT???!!!” screamed the President of the United States at the top of his lungs.
At press time, sources confirmed that the President had grabbed the 5/8″ wrench himself and wheeled himself back under the car he was fixing, muttering that he “would just do it [him]self.”
This is the biggest hardware error Congress has made since President Obama asked the legislative branch for a ball peen hammer and they sent him a government shutdown instead.