SEATTLE, WA ?The Amazon Prime Air delivery service today reported that its drones have confirmed that Olympian Tom Daley, who recently came out in a dramatic YouTube video, does not play for the top-ranked NFC West Seattle Seahawks.
“There were rumors prior to the start of this NFL season that an active professional football player would come out as gay,” explained an Amazon spokesperson. “Tom Daley, although an accomplished athlete, is in no way, shape, or form affiliated with the National Football League or the Seattle Seahawks.”
The news came as a huge relief to millions of bigoted Americans who are convinced that the nation’s most-watched sport contains absolutely no homosexuals, and never has, and never will, despite common sense and significant statistical studies to the contrary, not to mention widespread rumors surrounding certain of its participants, some of whom have indeed come out following their retirements.
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