“Like, what are they doing?” asks confused populace.
AP NEWSWIRE Sports fans across the length and breadth of the United States continue to express confusion about the World Cup, according to multiple surveys.
“All you need is a ball? Where’s the fun in that?” asked businessman Ralph Harridan as he finished purchasing a brand-new $250 golf bag, a $1200 set of clubs, and a $600 pair of Cole Haan golf spikes.
“You only get one point when you score? One lousy point?” exclaimed a perturbed Sarah Daniels, a schoolteacher,?following a twenty-minute workout at the downtown Denver Bally Fitness before stopping into Dunkin’ Donuts for an egg, bacon and cheddar sandwich on a toasted croissant.
When asked what improvements could be made in order to get them interested in the sport, a group of Ohio 6th graders named violent collisions, naked ladies, and randomly placed land mines?as strong?incentives.
At press time, a band of drunk frat boys were yelling “GOOOOAAALLL!!!!” at the TV in a bar in Fresno.
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