Hillary Clinton Announces She Will Run In 5K

“Did you think I was running for something else?” she asks innocently.

hillary-clinton-unflattering-photo-cheeringWASHINGTON, D.C. Former First Lady, Senator and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton today announced in front of a standing-room-only press conference that she will run in a local charity 5K event to raise funds for underserved District of Columbia schools.

As reporters groaned and turned off their recording devices Mrs. Clinton described how she’s been training for the event with her daughter, Chelsea, who will also be participating.

“Here is a map of the route,” added the person who is widely considered a lock for the Democratic Party’s nomination for the presidency, should she decide to pursue it. “There’s lots of hills, as you can see, but that shouldn’t be a problem for someone named ‘Hillary.'”

At press time, unconfirmed rumors were circulating that Mrs. Clinton was spotted looking at shoes in a sporting goods store.

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