Congress Can’t Believe There’s Been Another Mass Shooting

“Didn’t We Just Take Care of This?” Incredulous Lawmakers Ask.

congressWASHINGTON, D.C. As 12 bodies and 14 seriously wounded people were removed from the Navy Yards just a few miles from Capitol Hill, a perplexed and sorrowful Congress wondered exactly how and where it could have possibly gone wrong in preventing yet another deadly mass shooting on American soil.

“Didn’t we, like, just vote on this?” asked House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio). “Wait, we did. I totally remember. This came up for a vote, and we voted on it, and it was done,” remembered the Congressman.

“So why on Earth would this happen again?”

“We definitely had a vote on guns,” minority leader Nancy Pelosi (D-California) was heard talking to herself, brow furrowed and deep in thought. “Gabby Giffords came. I remember, I invited her for coffee and a bagel but she couldn’t come because she had a doctor’s appointment. Something about her head.”

“Y’know what, all y’all? I ain’t gonna worry ’bout it,” declared Congressman Mac Thornberry (R-Texas). “Somebody’s gonna put a bill together, and we’ll vote on it, and that’ll put an end to all this mass shootin’ stuff.”

“Now, if you’ll ‘scuse me, looks like I’m havin’ lunch with my good friend and distinguished fellow American Wayne LaPierre,” concluded the congressman.



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