PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA Controversial basketball star, tattoo enthusiast, and crazy person Dennis Rodman remarked to the media that he thinks he’d like to visit Venezuela in the wake of the tragic shooting death of international celebrity Monica Spear and her husband during a roadside robbery in the oil-rich, crime-ridden nation.
“North Korea is pretty awesome, but I hear in Venezuela there’s like one murder every 21 minutes,” remarked the ex-NBA player and possible sign of the collapse of Western Civilization. “That’s crazy, yo. I gotta book me a flight.”
At press time, Rodman was seen enjoying a five-course dinner served to him by a team of nubile North Korean sex slaves who later tonight will watch as their families are tortured and killed right in front of them.