Americans Ready To Ignore World Cup

Teenagers-watching-TV-001ASSOCIATED PRESS Citizens across the United States are eagerly gearing up to once again completely disregard the World Cup, in which players from around the world will compete in some kind of soccer tournament.

“Booooooooooooring,” said graphic designer Dale Murphy, 28, when asked if he planned to watch any of the matches.

He then proceeded to put his palms over his mouth and make a noise that sounded like farting.

At press time, ratings remained steady for the coverage of the NCAAW softball game on ESPN2.

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